I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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