The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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