wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
