They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
