Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
