I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
