What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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