Quick, to the slutcave!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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