I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
