You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
