i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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