Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
As shirtless as possible
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
