Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
