I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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