all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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