yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
