I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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