her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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