Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
