Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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