I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
