at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize