I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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