I heard we made out
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't deserve a penis
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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