The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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