Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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