I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
either way he was missing a nipple.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
