All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
