I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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