The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
