You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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