I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
