omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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