is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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