So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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