In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
