Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
