Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
