i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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