If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
