sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
