There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
