youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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