And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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