Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Farmville is her only friend.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
