So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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