9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
