I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
