So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
