She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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