watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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