and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
