Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize