I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
