Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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