I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
