How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
