I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i now understand why vodka
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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