can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
