took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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