Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
