I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
