Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We are all done wearing pants today
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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